On the board here behind me I've drawn a line and we're going to hold this.
There's a time line of life.
This little Bombino here with me day one first day on earth.
We're up all over again this fascinating journey of life.
This is where is all going to end.
Parts of meant to be a coffin.
By the way with our IP.
Rest in peace.
Kane Ramsey that's where I'm heading now.
This is a truth.
This isn't a belief or an opinion or a feeling or a thought.
No I can think what I want about this.
I can feel her want to know this I would be scared apprehensive anxious nervous excited.
But it doesn't matter what I think or how I feel or what I believe or what my opinion is about death.
This does not change in ever to a city.
And what's true for me is true for you also saw.
It's important for us to understand that all we ever have in life is right here right.
No you don't have yesterday.
You don't have a year ago you don't have two years ago because yesterday is history tomorrow is an absolute
mystery.
If in fact if you think about it you don't even know why you're going to wake up tomorrow morning and
not this is not something that you're able to control or determine.
Remember the only thing that you are able to control and determine in life is how it is that you choose
to respond or react to the circumstances and the situations that we find ourselves in in life under
one situation that we find ourselves in life the one circumstance that's universal for all of us is
that we are all here right now.
You know we might not be here in nine years from now.
But we are here right now.
We're not all listening to me speak right.
That's just you right now.
But if you think about it as I say you know that no is no.
In the past and I know that I haven't said yet is in the future.
No.
I know that those in the past saw we have a heart really is no no right here right now.
And if you think about the walk back to motional time travel in the US section looked at where it is
that most people spend their time in life.
Many people will look back to the past.
Their memories are good some old and the memories that people have that are good if they focus on them
they'll feel happy or joyous or they may even feel side.
Does that compare.
There are better days that have gone to where they are today in life.
Some people will feel side about their upbringings about whether they were loved in the way that they
wanted to be loved whether they were accepted and what happens to recent past life that determines the
foundations and the beliefs we develop about our self here.
No.
Alright no.
The interesting thing about beliefs is that we believe we are here and know determines the expectations
that we have about what to expect in our futures.
So see if for example someone's past their history has been riddled with fear we are.
And rejection and hurt and suffering and pain and all this negative stuff.
Guess what.
They're naturally don't expect in the future.
That's right you guessed it.
Rejection.
Pain suffering distress chaos all this gone these kinds of things.
So people will naturally reflect into the future expectations that mirror what they've already experienced
in the past and all of this is going to be determined by the beliefs of developed about themselves and
about how the world is so that gives us the overbroad overview.
Let me break this down and show you exactly how the beliefs we have about ourselves are formed because
were all born as clean slates are we.
We enslave its little bambinos So in a sense.
So you are into we start growing up because if you think about it when we're brought into this world
we don't have anything we.
We don't have any memories.
We don't have any stories.
We're not able to speak or we can do is gagging go to cry make some noise mess ourselves and hope someone
hears.
But whether someone hears or whether someone doesn't.
And then when someone responds to us is going to determine the stories that we are telling ourselves
about who it is that we fundamentally are saw here what I would like to do know is just to share with
you.
In later years of my life have discovered to be the formation of the beliefs that I developed myself
on earlier stage in life and as was a set of beliefs that didn't serve me in the healthiest way.
No it was actually through using and any or P model through an old mentor.
Howard's good back quite a number of years would it helped me to understand these beliefs.
There wasn't the model or the exercise was mr. Cooper my jekyll.
Anyway it was more just through his self disclosure.
He told me stories about himself that enabled me to relate back to some of the earlier events that I'd
had in life that I told myself some stories that went on to develop some on true beliefs.
Remember the elephant story a few videos a few videos back where the elephant lair and the limitations
that are heard as a child.
But then to those limitations for word with throw a life that pretty much just acted as a noose around
the elephant's neck or beliefs that have the potential to do exactly the same thing.
And this is very much true for me.
I'm sure there is going to be truth for you in some areas of your life.
So going back to Around the age of 5 or 6 years old.
This was finally the first real memory that are half a list to me back to walking into my parents bedroom
and my dad was in bed at the time.
No good back then.
My dad used to work away from home quite a lot.
Monday to Friday.
Sometimes he'd even stay away on weekends.
No in Scotland.
The men are my family and sometimes the woman can be alone.
But my family are and the nmr and common cultural belief is to provide for his family.
Now do appreciate today.
It is modern man that's very often not the case.
But by then the mine would be the provider saw for many men the rule of provision was kind of the end
of responsibility.
So as long as a man was bringing in money all out was that I was his role as a father and have done
wrapped up.
So from my perspective this was very much the case.
Yes he would work to bring in the money to pay the bills to keep the roof over our head than to work.
Basic core physiological needs but the needs that were higher than any other level as soon as his children
or even my mother as his wife and his eyes were kind of irrelevant.
You see my dad focussed most of his time energy and effort into working and generating money.
So this unfortunately came at the cost of the time that he was otherwise willing to spend with us his
family.
So this isn't a sob story I'm just explaining a set the context for the formation of the beliefs that
I developed as a child.
I see this day as I went into my dad's bedroom in a young boy full of energy full of life and full of
beans.
I would have been saying something to him along the lines of.
Dad Dad get out of bed come and take me to the park play with me give me some attention as kids do.
And I guess what you might say was myself and my sister proudly you would have grown up through life
in quiet or would have been referred to as perhaps Attention seekers because we didn't get too much
attention in the family home.
My dad worked all the time so on weekends This is my time to spend time with my mother and my father
figure role model but unfortunately he didn't want to this day in particular as I was jumping up and
down clambering for his attention.
His response was.
He rolled over turned his back on me and farted bumped it popped off.
Brooke went back then this was the first time I ever really experienced rejection on this level.
I didn't know what it meant.
Saw in the persistent young man that I was I carried on a perseverative Dad.
Dad Dad get out of bed spend some time with me Take me to the park and after a few more minutes of perseverance.
He then turned over.
He shouted at me he said Keane get out of my room LEAVE ME ALONE.
I'M TRYING TO SLEEP I've got a sore head that I've got a sore back in and that was death.
And this was pretty much the essence of my childhood.
In relation to spending time with my father he always had a sore hair or a sore back or an ailment or
an illness or a sickness.
That meant that he was unable to spend time with me.
My sister no from this from this day here we had two similar events so both rejections of me but I just
figured out what this meant yet I just hadn't come up with a conclusion.
Saw what are hard to learn.
But there was that it was hard.
So want to spend time with that's right.
It was important that I didn't pester him with that as a sort of sort of back or something like that.
I just had to leave him be.
If he was available would as such just leave me alone.
That was a story that I went on to tell myself it wasn't okay for me to want spend time with dad.
So went to school.
I know I'm around both 7 years old and rather than looking into timid dad for attention I was looking
to other people.
I'm looking to miss social peers at seven years old and I'd noticed girls for the first time girls are
prettier than boys and there was one little girl in particular who'd caught my attention running with
Sun grinning.
Sandra if you're watching this right now.
You were my childhood sweetheart right.
My first love or what kind of thing.
And sandra's mom and dad were the owners of the local Chinese takeaway so there was no selfish agenda
here at all.
I guarantee a promise but so am I here what I've done.
It was Valentine's Day and I'd saved up all my pocket money all my pennies to buy a Valentine's card.
The Mars bar to present to son running sweat in left school on my lunch break had gone down to the local
coroner's shop what the vote car and the Mars bar wrapped them up got down on one knee and presented
them to sundra because all my offerings sundra.
Will you be my valentine.
And do you know which I said now use ink and that was from your prospective.
I was just a smelly boy.
I couldn't believe I was heartbroken and for no beginning to identify is a bit of a pattern.
A bit of a trend.
People don't want to spend time with me.
Why what's wrong with me.
What's wrong with me.
Why don't these people who I'm interested in and who I care about want to spend time with me.
What's wrong with me.
I hear been rejected hater because they are not giving me any good reason.
They're telling me to get away.
They're telling me to go.
They're telling me no but they're not telling me why.
I don't know.
So at the age of seven years old I'm going to start coming up with conclusions about why it is that
I'm not good enough for them.
And this is how our beliefs are formed.
So I then get older.
I'm no.
8 years old.
And in Scotland one way of being accepted as part of the cool gang which incidentally everyone wants
to be part of the cool gang Dhoni is through being good at football.
But unfortunately because my dad could never be bothered to get us Ah so a bed and play football with
me I never got taught I never learned how to play football and because I never learned how to play football.
I wasn't particularly good at it because seems all schools and schools are developed over time and through
practice which I had never heard.
I've never been both football so when it came to get respect for the school team guess who the last
person to be standing in line was.
That's right you guessed it it was me.
I was always picked last and see when the guys picked me.
You know where they put me and put me in goals and they would say something along the lines of Kane
just googles and try not to let too many balls in.
And that was it.
But here I am now seeing a pattern starting to come to conclusions.
But that he does want to spend time with me.
Sundra Knowing she's not interested in me I'm always the last person to get picked for the football
team.
It's got nothing to do with them.
It has to do with me.
It's got everything to do with who I am.
I'm not good enough.
What I'm hoping to have painted a picture of now is how it is we can grow to develop beliefs about who
we are.
And just because we develop a belief about who we are doesn't mean that the belief is accurate or even
though it's true.
You see our beliefs do form the foundation that we hold and base our lives upon.
So if we know can connect back to the emotional time travel thing that was going on because of had all
these rejections in my past right.
How confident do you think I ever was to ask girls in the future to join social groups or teams to to
study subjects or take exams.
Well the answer is that I never wanted to do any of these things or was always less inclined to take
risks and pursue the things that are really wanted to pursue.
I would never even think about asking the girl why.
Because I've been rejected so many times in the past I never wanted to study new things or tick exams.
Why.
Because in the past I've failed so many I didn't want to join social groups or clubs I never got involved
in any sports at all growing up.
Why.
Because I was always the last to get pect a grunt to fundamentally believe that who I was wasn't good
enough and this Pikin the noose around my neck and similarity to our off the elephants.
It was an raupp.
It was in the chain.
Many people alive believe the greatest prisons in life for those most of was made of concrete and reinforcement
and cast iron bars and steels and toughened glass.
But what I can guarantee you right now is that the greatest prison that keeps human beings enslaved
tied to the past is the beliefs they develop about who it is.
They fundamentally are.
So I'm seeing here is that if our beliefs aren't accurate if the people they come to for life coaching
or into the future if their beliefs are accurate and true then they will be acting as nothing more than
a noose around their neck as preventing them from pursuing the goals of the hearth and the vision that
they have for a better future.
And as you recall as a life coach to help them understand exactly what these beliefs are sort unhappy
that all of this makes sense to you on some level of hope that you are able to roll in the story that
I've shared with you to your own life experience.
Bear in mind my life experience is going to be different from yours and yours is going to be different
from theirs.
It's only our experiences in life and the stories that we tell ourselves from these experiences that
differentiate us as human beings.
And this is what makes you a minority such a fascinating race.
You see if we can make our number one priority in Gaul to seek understanding before all other things
then guess what we're good at.
When people's hearts because most people are so used to being negatively and incorrectly and unfairly
judged and it's going to seem and feel like like such a phenomenal thing to have someone they just unconditionally
accept them because if you can become good at understanding yourself and therefore then in turn unconditionally
accepting other people are not necessarily talking about unconditionally accepting people's behaviours
and actions because sometimes they're going to be destructive offensive and completely disrespectful.
But there's a difference between accepting someone for who they are and accepting someone's actions
and behaviours because whilst there are people that I interact with some people that are entering and
in relationships with past I always I'm unconditionally accepting of them their actions and behaviours.
If they fall below the standard Well I'm going to reject the actions and behaviours.
And this is a phenomenal insight that we can build into a practicers life coaches.
This helps us to effective boundaries in place in relation to what of this we're willing to accept and
tolerate from other people because bear in mind other people in life are going to bring you all their
stuff all their baggage all their hearts all the highs and all the lows that they've experienced throughout
the years.
And that's your role as a life coach told the.
Between the lines and find that place of equilibrium and balance to establish or King is going to be
very very easy to judge this person based upon what they are seeing and how they are being.
But if I judge them then I'm not going to win their heart and therefore they're not going to give me
their mind.
And if they don't give you a mind then that you're never going to have any degree of positive influence
over them.
So if this makes sense then you're going to look forward to what I'm going to share with you in the
next video which is actually a series of questions that I'm going to urge you to take and use right
away on someone that you know love and trust and someone that also knows logs and trusts you to help
you to get to the root of establishing exactly what the limiting beliefs are that other people have
in their lives that may have potentially been holding them back for our lifetime.
So I look forward to sharing this with you in the next video and I hope you found all of this insightful
in some way.